4 Phrases to Strike From Your Work Vocabulary If You Want People to Like You
I’ve had a lot of different roles in my career, but they all seem to have one major thing in common-I talk to people. A lot. It’s been obvious to me from the jump that while everyone claims to have “good communication skills,” many folks are sorely lacking in this area. When I was a teenage waitress, one of my customers asked to speak to the manager. I kindly told her, “Ma’am, you might be better off dealing with me,” but she insisted. The manager came out and said, “If you always complain about the food, why do you keep eating here?” Diplomacy is a skill not everyone possesses.
As a former English teacher, I admit I may be overly sensitive to words and their connotations. But I also lack the thick skin that others seemingly have, so if something bothers me, it’s very likely to bother someone else. Research has shown that communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words only. When we communicate entirely through email and messaging, like so many of us do with virtual jobs, it’s essential that you give your words considerably more thought than you would in a face-to-face setting. For that reason, I have put together a list of things you should never say in the workplace and options you can use instead.
No worries
Every time someone has said this to me at work, there have most certainly been worries-considerable ones, in fact. I want to scream, “There are worries and the fact that you seem to have none gives me more.” “No worries” sounds incredibly flippant-probably not the perceived attitude you’re going for at work. It sends the message that whatever the situation is, you’re not taking it particularly seriously.
If you find yourself wanting to say no worries, try one of these instead:
-I have addressed the concerns and the problem has been handled
-You’re welcome (in response to a thank you)
-I have the situation under control
Remember, what someone else worries about is not within your control-how you handle their concerns and what you say absolutely is.
You’re wrong
If you want to immediately put someone on the defensive, outright telling them they’re wrong is an excellent way to do it. People don’t think or problem solve well in a defensive position-they go into fight or flight mode. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes people are definitely wrong. Heck, if you’ve spent any time on the internet in the last two decades, you know people are wrong a lot.
Instead of telling someone they’re wrong, use one of these options:
-I’m not sure about that. Let’s examine it in greater detail
-That might not be right; let’s look into it together
-Let’s double-check that to make sure
Giving someone support instead of accusation goes a long way toward building a strong professional presence.
It’s not my fault
Whether you mean it this way or not, “it’s not my fault” often gets interpreted as “it’s not my problem.” That’s not a mentality that you ever want to display in the workplace. And 9 times out of 10, whose fault it is really doesn’t matter. What matters is that the problem gets solved. Taking responsibility for fixing the problem is not the same as admitting you’re at fault.
-I will take responsibility for this situation and rectify it
-I will find out who should be handling this and connect you with that person
-I am not sure how this happened, but I will help get it solved
The best managers and coworkers are the ones who step up-not the ones who throw others under the bus.
I don’t know
It’s perfectly acceptable to admit you don’t know something-it’s definitely a hell of a lot better than pretending you do. “I don’t know” is only a problem if that’s the complete sentence. Someone obviously has a question and is relying on you for help. It’s important to foster an environment of respect and support, so if someone is coming to you for help, they are actively seeking that support. Saying you don’t know and ending it there demonstrates that you are not willing to provide that support.
-That’s not my area of expertise. Can I direct you to so-and-so who will be able to help you?
-That’s a great question. Why don’t we find the answer together?
-I don’t have an answer for you right now. Can I get back to you tomorrow?
With any of these responses, you can get the person who does know involved without making the asker feel left out in the cold.
In a world where effective communication is the linchpin of success, choosing our words wisely becomes imperative. So, let's strike out the phrases that hinder collaboration and replace them with ones that build a foundation of respect, support, and professionalism.
